Are You Spoiling your Child?

"A wise friend once told me this analogy:

Look at a fruit tree. As long as the fruit remains on the tree, it can grow into ripeness, ready to be picked at just the right time to nourish us and others.
Look at the fruit that falls off the tree too early. It lies on the ground, rotting, spoiling. It is no good to anyone.
The tree is the mother, the father, the nurturing adults in a child's life.
The child is the fruit.

As long as the child is lovingly fed and cared for by the adults, he will come into ripeness and be ready for his purpose.

A child left alone, uncuddled, uncared for is the one who is spoiled.

That is the child who turns to other sources of apparent comfort - maybe drugs, maybe food, maybe getting pregnant to have a baby to love."
This is a part of an article I found in a local magazine on Babies. I was so impressed with the story, how the writer defines a spoiled child.

Thinking of spoiled children, a screaming little boy comes to your mind. Maybe one at the supermarket at the checkout. He is throwing himself on the floor, receiving the entire attention of the people surrounding you. He wants that toy, that candy, that whatever.

Or you are thinking of the little girl. You tell her to go to bed and she ignores you. You pick her up and carry her to brush her teeth. She is getting loud, tears are rolling, fighting your touch as much as she can, all the way to her little bed.

Of cause our children can misbehave if they do not get what they want. We can spoil them one day with something special and they now expect it as a common thing.

When we say our children are spoiled we usually talk about material things. Sometimes we even talk about wants and desires that they have. But can a child really be spoiled in view of their basic needs? Can you give a child too much love, too much attention, too much cuddling?

I guess with a child's needs it is just the opposite as it is with their wants. If you give him too much of what he wants he can become spoiled. But if you make the mistake and give him too little of what he needs, he will be spoiled just as well.

Give your child lots of love, lots of warmth, lots of good things. Do not neglect the important things they need in order to grow and mature. Understand that when they are crying, it is not always for a want, sometimes it can just as well be for a need.